Monday, December 20, 2010

Paskong Alaala

since christmas and my birthday is just few days away, i just wanted to share this one to all those people na sobrang importante sakin. thank you guys for always being there for me throughout my whole life. para sa inyo 'to. it's a christmas song for you all.

mahal ko kayong lahat. o^_^o


PASKONG ALAALA

sasapit din ang araw malayo pa't tinatanaw
naghahandang umaga ang ating panimula
lalasapin sa hangin ang pag-ibig ng bawat isa

kanlungan ng paglaya, paghimig mo'y isang tula
kalingap ang liwanag, sa lilim ay tumatahan
naririnig ng langit ang tinig ng bawat isa

lulamig narin ang simoy ng hangin
sabay sabay tayong manalangin
ang araw ng pasko ay damhin mo

buhay ko'y sadyang may ligaya
sa piling nyo'y lubos ang pag-asa
ang diwa ng pasko ay nasa ating puso
dala dala ko ang liwanag ng buhay

pagtipon at pagsibol ang araw ay walang hanggan
narito ang panahon, kapiling nyo pinagmasdan
ang makulay kong buhay

lumalamig narin ang simoy ng hangin
sabay sabay tayong manalangin
ang araw ng pasko ay damhin mo

buhay ko'y sadyang may ligaya
sa piling nyo'y lubos ang pag-asa
ang diwa ng pasko ay nasa ating puso
dala dala ko ang liwanag ng buhay

Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Look Into Anime History Part I


The Story of VOLTES V in the Philippines

Being the passionate & experienced anime fan that I am, I would like to share my views, knowledge & experiences of this wonderful art form with everyone viewing my Multiply Site. In particular, I would like to tell of an anime that, in essence affected the course of a country's history. It was called VOLTES V. My views about its unexamined importance will be reflected in the essay I have written below. It is my earnest hope to educate, enlighten & even entertain so please feel free to post your views after reading it. Cheers!


From a galaxy far, far away, horned humanoid aliens known as Boazanians invade the planet Earth. Prince Zardoz (originally known as Prince Heinel and whose “new name” was ripped-off from the 1974 British sci-fi film also called Zardoz) leads them. The Earth is doomed unless its ultimate & final defensive weapon is called for. It is the Ultra-Electro-Magnetic-Robot (whatta a mouthful!) called VOLTES V!!!

The magnificent robot is piloted by five highly-trained young people ( paragons of Japanese discipline & determination – and sexual repression ). And they are Steve Armstrong (Keiichi Gou), Mark Gordon (Ippei Mine), Big Bert Armstrong (Daijiro Gou), Little John Armstrong (Hiyoshi Gou) & Jamie Robinson (Megumi Oka), Voltes V crushed the tyrannical aliens every Friday early evening on GMA Channel 7 way back in the good old days of 1979.

Who ever thought of the names – rather alternate names - to these characters? Probably someone who watched too much horrendous American sci-fi staples such as Six Million Dollar Man, Man From Atlantis, Bionic Woman & Lost in Space – with some references to the 1969 Moon landing. Just another uninspired & unimaginative way of “Americanizing” Japanese concepts. Well, it was the 70’s…

Anyway! Back on track…

Young Generation X’ers tuned in to anime show religiously which broke new ground for a new generation. Excitement and wonder filled the eyes and imagination of every young boy - and some occasional young girls in the process. Merchandising, promotions, toys, and what have you! VOLTES V was a cultural phenomenon which launched the first anime boom in the Philippines. In its wake, more anime shows, primarily giant robot shows, followed like the classic Mazinger Z, Daimos, Grendaizer, Danguard Ace, Getta Robot, Starzingers, Mekanda Robot, Balatak and etc.

It was a Golden Age…

However, a dark cloud loomed over the horizon for the heroic robot… It was the prejudice of a conservative generation – mostly composed of people that experienced the atrocities of the Japanese back in World War II. The paranoia of another Japanese invasion, even if it was a cultural invasion, was unacceptable - with the exception of electronics, Japanese food & cars.

Backward, unexamined and misplaced parental concern over the violence in the robot shows gave a tyrant an excuse to flex his political power. And one Monday morning, the children came home to find the TV screens different. And when they learned that a tyrant had killed their hero, they wept. They wept like never before. For some strange, new and unknown reason, in their tender ages, they experienced, in their on way, the loss of a loved one…

And their parents, who didn’t sympathize with them in the beginning, couldn’t truly comfort them… Curtains for VOLTES V…

This pop-culture event has similiarities to the death of George Reeves, the actor who played Superman in the 1950's TV series, and the death of Optimus Prime in the 1985 movie. This happened long before celphones, the Internet, roller blades, network gaming, campy boy-bands, Rurouni Kenshin, the Ipod, interactive gaming, the PS3 & all the other technological amenities we now enjoy.

The tyrant was the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos. This would not be the last time he became the “political kill-joy”. Two years later, he banned coin operated video arcade games for the same formulated reasons. For the first time in Philippine history, a head-of-state pissed off the younger demographic age group.

The Philippine History of Voltes V

Around 1980, Voltes V and other similar super-robot-anime shows were altogether canceled by President Ferdinand Marcos from Philippine TV airwaves citing its supposed negative effects on children due to the violence it showed. This was a significant event for a generation of youngsters called the Martial Law Babies, now in their thirties or forties, and eventually became a subject of historical speculation & discussion. Here are some theories as to the reasons why the super-robot-anime shows, with Voltes V as the leading representative, were banned:

One theory suggests that the cancellation of Voltes V was not because Ferdinand Marcos, then President (turned dictator) of the Philippines, thought that it conveyed messages of rebellion. It was cancelled because the television station that aired Voltes V then was the number one station in the country, surpassing other two government-owned TV stations.

To negatively affect the ratings of the stations that aired Voltes V, and other super robot shows for that matter, Marcos banned not only the airing of all of them, but also other top rating television shows including Charlie's Angels. Marcos stated that the violent contents had a negative effect on children. However, the aforementioned Charlie's Angels and its like resumed airing during the martial law era which brings up the question as to why Voltes V and the other super robot shows remained banned.

Speculations also abound that the show could be used by leftist activists who might use it as a tool and an inspration to create a revolution similar to the Ilokula, or use it as part of a class struggle leading to socialism or communism, or the freeing the "slave" class in the Philippines (or a coup d' etat. Voltes V might serve as a code name by the Mutineers and its song as a password, such as the phenomena of GrĂ¢ndola Vila Morena in Portugal's Carnation Revolution in 1974). Most of the scenes in Voltes V carries some leftist meaning, like the class structure, the treatment, as well as the struggle of the oppressed class similar to the revolutions in Europe and in Asia.

Another issue claimed by some was that the Emperor Zambajil's name (sometimes spelled Zambojil or Zambujil) was changed into Ferdinand, General Bergan's name was changed to Fabian or Vergan(for Fabian Ver - Marcos's Chief-of-Staff of the Philippine Military at that time), etc. which intended to mock the administration. Also, Voltes V was planning a people's revolution throughout the series and Marcos feared he would end up like Zambajil, overthrown by his own people including the "nobility".

This is also similar to a comparison, which was later formed into a conspiracy theory, that the Emperor Zambajil, was a representation of Marcos and that Dr. Ned Armstrong (creator of Voltes V) represented his political rival Benigno Aquino, Jr..

The previous paragraphs, of course, would look good as the premise of a scholastic thesis, but it bears little merit due to the overwhelming preoccupation of the youngsters who enjoyed the adventures & the action-packed anime stories Voltes V and its like brought. They are highly unlikely to see any "deep political" messages in Voltes V - if there was ever.

Voltes V's creator, Tadao Nagahama, made Voltes V as part of his "Romance Super Robot Trilogy" and is characterized, not only as a narrative fiction on love (as was shown in Daimos), but as a fantastic general fiction of heroism, adventure & elegiac elements for youngsters. It was made for pure entertainment & enjoyment (initially for Japanese children), and it is highly unlikely that Tadao Nagahama was in tune with the political atmosphere of the Philippines during the 1970s and thus could not have patterned his characters & his story as allusions to the mentioned Philippine leaders or to the troubled political situation of the country at the time. Although, Nagahama often uses the political theme of revolution & uprising in several of his other works like, more notably, Rose of Versailles & Daimos.

These presumptuous & pretentious theories sprang from the drastic changes which influenced the mindset of the generation who tried to formulate a good reason why the shows were banned. For that generation, it was the "longest story ever told" for they waited the ending of the tale of Voltes V, which eventually came close to 20 years later.

There is another conspiracy theory which states that because of the enormous profits the Super Robot anime shows were generating at that time (in terms of merchandising, TV exposure, advertisement revenue, licensing deals & etc.) were so great that Marcos wanted a share of it. But this didn't push through smoothly and as an act of retaliation, and a chance to flex political muscle to impress the conservatives (which was speculated to have been spearheaded by ultra conservative Pili Cayetano, a friend of Marcos' wife Imelda, at the time), Ferdinand Marcos banned the shows altogether.

With this in mind, the cancellation of the Super Robot shows, with Voltes V as the vanguard, could be concluded as a combination of a display & execution of political showboating, media manipulation & censorship characteristic of a repressive dictatorial singularity, failed under-the-counter-dealing and post-war values.

As for "post-war values", Marcos, in some ways, represented a generation that underwent the horrors of the Japanese occupation of the Philippines during World War 2. Voltes V was a product of Japan - the former aggressor. Marcos' generation was in prominence & in power during the 70's and their outlook was shaped by these tumultuous events several decades earlier. It is characterized by a stern, singular & disciplined principle which eventually reconstructed the war-torn nation. This is reflective of Marcos' policies during the early years of the Martial Law/Bagong Lipunan (Filipino for 'New Society') era. Compounded by these, it is likely that animosity towards anything Japanese and a strong desire to pass on the values of "discipline" to the younger generation that prompted whatever moral motivation Marcos might have had in banning the cartoon show/s.

Marcos, it should be noted, called himself a WW2 veteran who fought against the Japanese. However, current evidence shows he was nothing of the sort & fabricated his WW2 achievements (i.e. his infamous fake War Medal collection) and was probably a successful collaborator. Ironically, he was reputed to hate anything Japanese in spite of having good foreign relations with Japan during his tenure.

This disciplinarian act was short-lived and it sowed the seeds of anger in the young who loved the shows. Several years later, Marcos would repeat his political tactics directed at another form of mass entertainment when he banned coin-operated video games - mostly made in Japan. These games were popular with the youth who he wanted disciplined (just like Voltes V and the other robot shows before). These were instances that preceded the 1986 EDSA Revolution which saw the overthrow of Marcos.

The Triumphant Philippine Return

The Voltes V cartoon series resumed its TV run shortly after the People Power Revolution that toppled Marcos in 1986. Ironically, it was the government-run People's Television Channel 4 (PTV-4, now National Broadcasting Network or NBN-4) that aired the program. However, the comeback was lackluster and Voltes V found itself "unfinished" in its story-telling-run and was shuffled from one TV station to another as a cartoon filler. The show was aired on ABS-CBN Channel 2 then on sequestered TV stations RPN-9 and IBC-13. The late 1980s had its share of Japanese tokusatsu / sentai series like Bioman and Shaider & anime in the early 90's like Peter Pan, Cedie, The Little Prince, Sarah - The Little Princess etc. But fifteen years later, around the late 1990s, a new wave of anime appreciation came to the Philippines (and all over the world for that matter) represented by shows like Yu-Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin (a.k.a. Samurai X), Fushigi Yugi, Flame of Recca & etc.

But the spark which truly brought Voltes V back into the limelight in the late 1990s, oddly & strangely enough, came from a skit of a TV comedy show called Bubble Gang. The skit-in-concern was a parody of a controversial religious television show called Ang Dating Daan (The old path), which in turn was comically entitled Ang Dating Doon (The old there). In the skit, the Voltes V opening theme song was sung as both its opening and closing theme. The song was sometimes sung without instrumental augmentation, relying on the guests' voice to give the song a funny yet anthemic sound. It was the "spark that ignited the fuse".

In January 1999, despite protests from some minor conservative groups, the show returned to its original primetime slot in GMA-7, the station where it was aired during the Marcos years. But fan enthusiasm for the show waned somewhat later that year when a movie containing the last five episodes was shown in theaters as "Voltes V: The Liberation." The decision by GMA-7 executives to show the movie was reportedly to give the Friday primetime slot to Pokemon. But with the movie having been shown in June 1999, many fans of the series had their "closure" and lost interest in the TV run.

Currently, a new Filipino language dubbed version of VOLTES V (an earlier Filipino dubbed version was shown briefly & unsuccessfully around 2002) is being shown in Hero TV a cable channel. The show is called VOLTES V: Evolution.

The Rising popularity of the Filipino Band the "Eraserheads" in the early 90's also popularized its nostalgia with the release of the major record label album " Ultra Electro Magnetic Pop".

Despite being a product of Japan, VOLTES V is a significant cultural & historical focal point in Philippine society. For a generation of youngsters dubbed as the Martial Law Babies (born within the period of the late 1960s - early 1970s), Voltes V was not only an enjoyable part of their youth, but a subconscious rallying cry for revolution. It's revival also makes it a multi-generational phenomena, much like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, wherein the children of the generation-in-concern appreciate it as much as their parents did. VOLTES V, figuratively, is as Filipino as the kalesa (the native horse drawn buggy) or the jeepney and unique as a historical force in shaping the destiny of a country.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Once Upon A Time (Snow White's tale)





As darkness settles, i can feel you glow
and see the brightness of your awesome skin
In every move you make, i close my eyes
Your wave and your smile just made me believe

You light my way, you light my way
And you always take my breath away, my breath away
now i realized
that fantasies are true

I now believe in Fairy Tale
Someone like you really exist
I am amazed 'cause your skin is pale
You're like a star that blinks at night
I would go with you in front of the altar

You light my way, you light my way
And you always take my breath away, my breath away
now i realized
I'm now in fantasy

I now believe in Fairytale
Someone like you really exist
I am amazed 'cause your skin is pale
You're like a star that blinks at night

I do believe in Fairytale
Someone like you lives in real world
I am amazed 'cause your skin is pale
You don't deserve that kind of apple

I would go with you in front of the altar





dedicated to: my future snow white

Friday, November 5, 2010

Missing Our "Momo"

wala ng sasalubong sakin sa pinto sa tuwing kauuwi ko galing sa school at sa galaan. wala na akong kalaro ng habulan. wala ng kakalahig ng pinto sa madaling araw para lang palabasin sya. wala ng gugulong sa sahig pagkatapos syang paliguan. wala ng kakasat sakin sa tuwing uupo ako sa tabi nya. wala na akong kasama sa bahay sa tuwing aalis sila mama at kapatid ko. wala ng papanik sa kama ko para lang gisingin at dilaan ako at sabihing umaga na. wala na akong ka-high five. wala na si "MOMO"...

namimiss na kita agad. yung puyatan dati para lang makatulog ka. yung pagkarga ko sayo. yung pamamasyal natin. yung times na kakain na. yung pagpapaligo sayo. yung pagpanik mo sa kama ko para gisingin ako. yung pagtabi mo sakin kapag sa sala ako nakakatulog. yung paglalaro natin ng habulan. yung kasatan natin. at higit sa lahat, yung high five natin.

wala pang isang araw na nawala ka pero sobrang namimiss na kita agad. naiiyak ako eh, kaw naman kasi, umalis ka agad ng walang pasabi, kahit sa kapatid mo, kay tasha, di ka man lang nagpaalam. sana ok ka lang dyan, magkikita din tayo someday, hintayin mo ako dyan ha, ok? i miss you so much buddy.



our happy days together


"you're more than a pet, you're part of our family"




Momo
[January 2010 - November 2010]

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Pista Ng Mga Patay

kay dami dami dami dami dami daming tao sa barangay! heto sila't dumadayo, dumadagsa, kumukumpol, sumisiksik, abalang abala, binibisita ang mga patay!

huuuu, ang sarap ng gising ko, wala pang araw dito sa barangay bagong buhay (ah, dyan lang po kami sa loob ng sementeryo nakatira.) pero maliwanag na sa aking paningin, halos nakikinita ko na ang kikitain buong maghapon. parang musika sa aking mga tainga ang paparating na halakhakan, hagikgikan, tuksuhan at kantyawan. unti-unting pagbuhos ng padyak ng mga paa sa mga nitsong patung-patong-patong-patong-patung (makikiraan lang po. tabi-tabi po. sorry po.) mga bisitang kamag-anak ng kamag-anak ng kapitbahay na kalaro ng katrabaho na katsismisan ng dating kalaguyo na ngayo'y sama-sama, pinag-sama, pinag-tagpo ng tadhana. hay, buhay nga naman, buhay na naman ang aming barangay, may hanap buhay na naman kami!

binubuhay kami ng todos los santos. babanatin butong binaon na sa limot. bigyang kulay putla't magigising sa tulog. binubuhay kami ng todos los santos.

magsisimula ako habang tulog pa si misis (naku, diyos ko, pinagod ko ata kagabi, sana di na naman kami naka-buo, haleluya, amen, harinawa, sisbumba.) bibisitahin ang mga nitsong nandiyan lang sa labas ng pinto namin at matitirik ng kandila. paano ko nga naman makikita habang pinipintahan? mahirap na, baka abutan ako ng liwanag. maaga pa namang dumadating si (mr. santos, kayo po pala.! a, e, opo. matatapos ko na po.diyan lang po kayo at makakaasa po kayo na parang kahapon lang inilibing sa puntod na ito ang misis niyo. walang biro! ehe. kayo na pong bahala sa tip! pero sana po malaki. hehe.) pagkatapos, wawalisan ko ang paligid ng mga nitso dahil nagkalat ang tuyong dahon at tangkay at basura at upos ng yosi at patay na daga at patay na pusa at patay na (hoy junior, itapon mo yang plastik ng babol gam sa basurahan. konting respeto sa patay. diyan tayo kumikita, papatayin kita dyan eh!) at habang patuloy na dumadagsa ang mga dayo sa aming lugar at lumalala ang init at tumatagaktak ang pawis ng mga batang 'di mapirmi, ihahanda ko na ang mga paninda (ah, honeybunch, kailangan mo ng gumising, diyan ako mag-di-display sa bintana ng kwarto/kusina/kubeta natin. salamat dear.) ang lakas ng benta! ang daming uhaw na kaluluwa! (sa malamig, sa malamig, sa malamig kayo diyan. kornik, mani, butong pakwan, sago't gulaman! bili na, bili na, mahaba pa ang araw! hala sige mga iho't iha, ate't kuya, lolo't lola, tatagal ka paba? nakow, mukhang hindi na ah! bilisan bago maubusan, nang sa inyong mahala sa buhay, hindi mapasama.)

patapos na ang araw, paubos na ang paninda, pauwi na ang mga bisita. nalalagas isa-isa. sa isang taon muli nila kaming maaalala. (oh bata, ginagabi ka ata, ubos na ang sago't gulaman namin eh. pasensya na. teka... ren-ren? ikaw ba yan? ren-ren, ikaw nga! ang dati kong kalaro! aba, di ka nag-bago ah! san kaba nagsuot at di ka man lang nagparamdam? huli tayong nagkita noong...)

langit, lupa, impyerno, im-im-impyerno... ah! hindi! taya ka! taya! hindi yan langit! bakit ba marunong kapa? ano ba alam mo? itulak kita dyan eh! diyan ka sa impyerno! diyan ka nababagay! saksak puso agos ang dugo. patay. buhay. alis ang isa diyan.... alis ka dyan! alis ka!

BINUBUHAY KAMI NG TODOS LOS SANTOS
BABANATIN BUTONG BINAON NA SA LIMOT
BIGYANG KULAY PUTLA'T MAGIGISING SA TULOG
BINUBUHAY KAMI NG TODOS LOS SANTOS

Finding -Marco-™ Harlequin Lover
Mistula Disciple

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Keroro Gunso de Arimasu!

As usual heto na naman ako at wala na naman akong magawa, so it's time to write another blog and since December is coming near, sakto 'tong blog na to...

If you are a gundam fan you should know about
Keroro Gunso(kelangan talaga, pero bakit??)... Bakit nga ba??

Hmmmmmmm...

Well, cute yung series, at medyo pambata yung theme
(not, really kasi kung makakita ka ng mga palakang may hawak na baril, shield, granada, bazooka, etc, pambata pa ba yun??)...

Hindi ko pa rin nasagot yung tanong e, bakit nga kelangan ng isang gundam fan na malaman pa ang tungkol kay Keroro??



Keroro is popular in Japan (sobra, malalaman nyo kung bakit), and the proof is here:






Keroro Merchandise


And some more Keroro Merchandise...

Sa sobrang dami neto, kung hindi ito sikat e lugi ang bandai.. Pero kung sa gundams nga e kumikita sila ng malaki, malamang pati sa keroro merchandise e ganun din..

Bakit nga ba kelangang kilala ng isang gundam fun si Keroro?? Well...



It is because Keroro is a gundam fan (gunpla fan).
Wow, how I wish makakabili din ako ng 3 boxes ng gundam sa isang lakaran.

Most of the time i envy Keroro... Why?

Damn! Kasi he can buy all the Gunplas he want, even though which aren't released yet...

And this is how much he has in stock...


This is the storage for my extra Gunpla... Imagine kung gano talaga karami ang Gunpla nya...



Well even as a kid he gets to build gunpla, and hey, its a nice looking Zaku...



Now another merchandise, kung merong Gunpla, meron ding Keropla



Kung may Gundam Fix Figuration (GFF), meron ding Keroro Fix Figuration (KFF)


Wow! A Dendrobium operated by Giroro and Natsumi ( pambata ba talaga ang series na 'to?)


Curse you Keroro!!! (huh? nothing happened...)

Well i can't kill Keroro now or else...


He will kill me...

Doesn't he look cute?

NakakataCUTE... nuff' said...

and by the way, Keroro is popular enough...


To invade Naruto...


and Gundam OO... Hi there Keroro Graham

This should end it, but wait may pahabol na message si Keroro



The voice from within your heart, is filled with envious cries from your gunpla... XD
( how did the Re-GZ sparkle like that? even clear topcoat can't do that...)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Tau Cross



The Tau Cross, also called the Cross of Tau, the Franciscan Tau Cross, the Cross of St. Francis, and the Cross of St. Anthony, is a simple cross, based on the Greek Τ, which is pronounce taw. In Hebrew the letter is pronounced the same but written as x. It predates the cross of the crucifixion, and for this reason it is also called the Old Testament cross. It is a type of the cross of the Crucifixion. In Ezekiel, an angel, traditionally believed to be St. Gabriel, is instructed by God to go and mark the foreheads of the faithful with the Tau symbol. Other angels are then instructed to go ye after him through the city, and strike: let not your eyes spare, nor be ye moved with pity.Utterly destroy old and young, maidens, children and women: but upon whomsoever you shall see Thau, kill him not, and begin ye at my sanctuary.” (Ezekiel 9:5-6). So in Ezekiel, those marked with the Tau were saved from this destruction – their lives were spared. In the Passion, the crucifix became the symbol of Christ’s sacrifice, which brought eternal salvation. And so yet another name for the Tau Cross is the Anticipatory Cross.

Tradition holds that in the 3rd century, St. Anthony, the Egyptian hermit who is considered the father of monasticism carried a Tau cross, but it was St. Francis and the Franciscan order that really popularized the use of the Tau cross. Francis was also familiar with the religious community that followed in the footsteps of St. Anthony the hermit, a community which was active in Assisi during St. Francis’s time. This is likely where he first encountered the Tau Cross. In 1215, at the Fourth Lateran Council, Pope Innocent referenced the Tau cross and the passage from Ezekiel. It is widely believed that St. Francis was present at the Council and that this is when he wholeheartedly embraced the Tau cross as his symbol. Francis used it in his writings, painted it on walls and doors where he stayed, and even used it as his signature. St. Francis would also stretch out his arms, to show his friars that their habit was also the Tau Cross. He instructed them to not only let that serve as a reminder, but also as an active symbol for them to be a walking crucifix in their lives. Due to St. Francis’s love for the Tau Cross, it became associated with the Franciscan Order. It is adopted and used or worn by many followers of St. Francis, whether part of the religious order or secular. Even for those unfamiliar with the details of St. Francis’s life, the Franciscan Order is what comes to mind when most people see the Tau Cross.

As with Christianity, other ancient societies who used the “Tau” symbol also expanded upon its symbolism to include life, resurrection, reincarnation, and blood sacrifice. These crosses are rare, and only a few are left in the world .

Since St. Francis preached simplicity and humility, the Tau cross in jewelry is typically very simple. Quite often, a simple wooden cross is worn on a cord, such as this cross necklace made from olive wood.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Someone's Definition of Marco [10-11-08 , 22:19]


MARCO (mar'ko) - noun, A guy who terribly loves color green, Japanese stuff, skateboarding and bands; A writer; a vocalist; panay tinutukso ni Kristine na "bakla" kasi nga mahilig sya sa green (which happens to be kulay na pambakla!); sya yung taong nakakadama ng pagkatindi-tinding contentment kapag naaasar nya ang ibang tao, lalo na si Kristine; a guy who is prohibited to drink coffee (pero nagiging pasaway, lalo na kapag walang bantay!); kolektor ng kung ano-anong laruan;

see synonyms: BOY BERDE, SHREK, PICCOLO, ESPOSO, NINJA

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Decaffeinated [01-02-09]


Like literally having’ been in a boxing match or say, a 2-man duel like what they do in UFC, i have yet suffered from a blood-oozing fat lower lip on account of having been totally sober from caffeine for the last twelve hours since i woke up today. Once i get this sort of ‘caffeine withdrawal syndrome’ which is basically comprised of muscle cramps, hunger, sheer dumbness and delirium tremens, expect me to trip off the staircases and end up nursing an injury or a sprained ankle or in such a fateful case like today, a bleeding fat lower lip.

But nevertheless, despite a throbbing temple and a pulsating myocardium as a premonitory sign and symptom of withdrawal, a cup of coffee is still the best remedy to cough all these symptoms off, a sort of detox process that gets rid of the evil inside my body.


Coffee pretty much gives a paradoxical effect on my system. As opposed to getting palpitations and dysrrhythmias, i get peace and tranquility every time i get a sip, so staying up all day long without caffeine in my veins would literally mean SUICIDE.

But in instances when coffee is not available like when i do sleep-overs in a sedentary household like in some friends, coke or tea is a life-line. or anything that belongs to the same genus like stimulants and pot would do.

For someone like me who can average like 3-5 cups of coffee a day and having’ been drastically deprived of a single drop for the past 12 hours of my life, you cannot blame me for sitting in front of the computer this late hour of the day and blog about how a zero, caffeine-free day could painfully turn one’s life around.

As of now i can only give one piece of advice to those people who have an extreme aversion with caffeine. Coffee is a potent anti-oxidant and actually not a bad thing at all. It’s way better than cigarette and a lot cheaper than prozac for an addiction.

Ha! It can also make you feel young and alert without getting the usual perk-up as opposed to other stimulants. So just for once drop those yogurts, fruitas and other slimming crap down the trash and start a healthy living by engulfing a cup or two of caffeine everyday and make it as your guilty pleasure.

Remember, no one has died out of drinking coffee.
But I also have to warn you that you don’t ever want to mess up with sober ones either if you don’t want yourself be killed too for that matter.

So be very careful guys and don’t ever rub those people the wrong way. Tsk.tsk. ..

So till i don’t feel delirious and have those free-flowing caffeine down my veins again, CHEERS GUYS!!

Finding -Marco-™ Harlequin Lover

Sunday, October 10, 2010

60 microdrops per minute [12-18-09]

“This is stupid.” Russell sighed loudly and released the intravenous (IV) regulator from his grip. Apparently, he had given up trying to get the exact drop factor of his dehydrated pediatric patient’s 1L 0.3 NaCl IV fluid. It was ordered for 60 and the best he could come up with was 52; if he’d roll it again he’d probably end up with 45, or much worst 77 micro drops (uggts/min).

He took a glance at his overused watch. “Just 11:30? Feels like forever already.” He mumbled to himself, then his eyes shifted to the sickbed which he watches over, that was crowded with Cedric, a two – year old boy down with diarrhea, and his 21 year – old mother, Lucia, who as luck would have it, looks nothing like a 21 year – old. Guess when you don’t have much to live on, it really takes its toll on the way you look.

He dragged his size 10 feet to one corner of the medical ward and reaches in for his pocket notebook to do his midnight’s edition of SOAPIE. He leaned on the wall and after writing the letter “S” to begin his charting on his pad, the red ink from his pen just seemed to be totally blocked. He turned his notebook over and scribbled madly to get his pen going. At first it was blotting, but seconds more and it was totally junk.

“So I’m up when everyone’s sleeping and my pen’s not working, Great!” He shook his head and bit his lower lip before a stray curse escape his lips. He was sure it wouldn’t come silently, if ever it manages to come out.

He lifted his back and focused on his other group mates. Oops, group mate only at that time, because the other members left already, were probably at the room opposite the ward doing their own sample charting, or more likely sneaking into a nap.

The one left with him, looking after the patient across Cedric’s bed was Shannie Bernal, rendering a tepid sponge bath to her feverish, diarrhea – struck patient. She was the best group mate ever, well, probably for Russell’s subjective eyes only.

It was almost midnight and here was Shannie, diligently fighting off sleep and trying her best to lower her patient’s fever. Russell Thought she’d make a great nurse someday. Shannie was studious, patient, and totally overflowing with compassion that’s for real. His astonishment towards her love for nursing was just hands down because if he’d be comparing himself, he’s probably fair poorer than poor.

Russell never wanted to take up nursing. Heck, never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he’d be wearing that white uniform he was donning that night, if not only for his mother’s wishing he’d probably be almost a Music Teacher or a great Pianist by this time. As a student nurse, he barely passed NCM 100 and 101 and he just sucked at regulating IVs. He dreaded the smell of hospitals and just couldn’t stand crying children. Though his heart get nudges each time he’d be seeing people suffering, it just proved to be not enough for him to actually love his soon to be profession. Who could fall in love with needles and viruses right? He’d tell himself once in a while.

But since he’s already suffered almost three years of nonstop torture, he couldn’t turn his back at this point. It’d just seem too insane. He just secretly hoped that maybe, a defining moment would come into his lap one of this days and it’d be a sign. Until then, he’d find a reason or two why he should endure the torture RLE schedule and lukewarm instructors, for the meantime at least.

And Shannie Bernal was a reason. Russell’s number one reason why despite the 6am call time for duties he still arrives at the hospital smiling – and on time. She was the reason why asking patients how many times they pooped or peed become bearable. Shannie was enough to force his slacker ass to study for his super long patho exam and do his MS homework of over a 100 topics to write by hand. Shannie was worth doing the graveyard shift with. A text message from her at 9pm saying “guys ptyan na nmn s duty 2. Gudluck stn at mamatay na nakaimben2 ng 10-6 duty. Hehe. Ingat kau ha, kita kits nlng mmya!” was enough reason to get him excited for a night that was destined to be weary and dry out of sleep.

As a matter of fact, Russell could honestly say that Shannie was the one thing he loved about nursing. And how he wish she knew.

By this time Shannie was finished with her TSB and just stuck a thermometer on hi patient’s armpit. Russell smiled lazily. Aside from having killer nursing skills, she was a pretty girl; simple yet appealing, very attractive – at least for him if not for the whole world.

Shannie looked Russell’s way and he beamed, decided to come over on the pretense that he had to borrow a pen.

“Have an extra pen? Mine apparently resigned from service.” Shannie smiled about his choice of words. It was easy to steal a smile from her. She’s easy to please and highly appreciative. “Sure. I have it in my bag,” she answered back, then bent down to collect her thermometer.

She was flipping the glass as Russell went on asking, “still febrile?”
“No, 37.4C, thank God.” She shook the thermometer thrice and after cleaning it with a wet cotton ball she slid it down her apron pocket. “let’s join the others,” she nodded and Russell followed suit.

Russell pushed the door for her and they found their group mates busy doing the sample charting inside the crowded room assigned to them.

“Shannie, what’s that word if I want to say my patient can’t breathe when lying down?” It was Christine inquiring while moving over the long chair to make room for the newcomers.
“Orthopnea,” Shannie told her without batting an eyelash as she plopped down the chair. She then reached for her bag and handed her extra pen to Russell who sat down beside her.
“Smart ass!” Marco joked on the other side of Christine. Shannie pulled his ear to return the banter. She then took her pocket notebook and worked on her SOAPIE quietly.

However, Russell found it hard to concentrate on his sample charting. Aside from the fact that he was terribly drowsy, the feeling that he was seated beside Shannie felt weird this time. His heart was thumping like a crazy rabbit on drugs and you bet it was downright disturbing.

Fearing that their clinical instructor would come soon enough and he’d still have no output because of his damn feelings, Russell stood up and sat on the armrest of the chair opposite the one he occupied before. He gave Haruna a nudge and asked help with his SOAPIE. He didn’t notice Shannie watching him move away from her and asking help from somebody else. Haruna gave him the charting he did the last time she had a patient with diarrhea and Russell took pleasure in just copying the material.

Their clinical instructor came moments later to collect the sample chartings and just called the student outside two at a time if it’s their turn to transfer the SOAPIE to the actual patient’s chart. Marco and Christine came outside first leaving the chair Shannie occupied free. Russell thought it would be wise to return to his original seat, and later he was sure glad he did.

“I’m sleepy,” Shannie told him once his ass touched the chair. He laughed after seeing her trying her hardest to pry her eyes open and how she tries her best to stop her yawning.
“Me too, don’t you think this is bad for our health?” Russell replied comically, and hearing her laughing chased all the sluggishness away in him.
“Move over.” She pushed him with her arm two seats away from her, and without warning nor permission, Shannie bent sideways and rested her tired head on Russell’s lap.
He smiled. At least she was comfortable with him. He reached for his backpack and lifted Shannie’s head a few inches high.

“What?” She looked at him above with her eyebrows furrowed and lips pouted.
“I just thought you could use this to cushion your head.” He inserted his bag and she lied cozily again. Looking at her with her eyes closed and looking at peace, Russell wasn’t able to restrain himself from touching her hair, careful not to ruin her tidy pony tail.

“Hey, don’t do that, we might think you two are boyfriend – girlfriend!” Uno teased him immediately and every single one of their group mates left inside turned to them and joined what Corinne started.

“Stop it Uno.” Russell said chuckling as he leaned back on the chair, raising his hands behind his head.
“Whoooo!” I’ll report you two to the faculty so you’d be separated next sem!” Corinne threatened in mock seriousness. “Don’t you know it’s not proper to fall in love with your group mate?” she went on teasing though her eyes were twinkling and her voice fell into a dreamy trance.

The door opened and Marco popped his head outside. Christine pushed the door widely and came in. “Shannie, it’s your turn with Sir Paul,” Marco informed objectively, not aware of the humor happening inside the room.
“Oh, okay.” She straightened up a bit and collected her things before she stepped out of the room.
“Shannie and who?” Diana inquired to Marco whos was inside already and stretching his arms. “I don’t know. Sir Paul only asked for her,” he replied.

It took a moment before Shannie came back and Russell had already dozed off when she returned. Shannie touched him on the arm and shook him slightly. “Russell! Russell!, wake up.” He lifted his head and ran a hand on his face. “It’s your turn. Uno’s outside already.”

Between some lecture, checking vital signs, some naps and throwing banter at Russell and Shannie, their shift that night was coming to an end. It was a little over 5am and their clinical instructor allowed them to go home.


It was still dark but everyone was quick to change and pack their things, and next thing they knew they were heading out, groggy though still giddy, but Russell’s insides were on a protest. He could feel his heart beating wildly again and all his hidden thoughts were screaming at him. He was walking behind their pack and Shannie was about midway, but before she could go anywhere and cross the pedestrian, Russell decided it was time that he must be honest with her. “Shannie, wait!”

She looked at him and stopped at the opposite sidewalk. He reached the other end of the roan and without wasting more time, he bravely started, “I have something important to tell you.”

Shannie was unassuming and motioned that he went on. It caught her off guard and Russell ended up asking, “Can I take you home?” Shannie lived on an apartment 2km from the hospital and she was nice enough to grant his request. He tool and carried her things, pulled a tricycle over in two seconds flat, but the ride to Shannie’s dorm felt like forever for Russell and the air inside the tricycle seem to be too little, too thin that it was hard for him to catch a breath.

“Thank you for taking me home,” Shannie told him sweetly when they arrived , then extended her hand to reach for her things that he was carrying.

Russell cursed himself for holding back and acting like a sissy, so before his luck runs out, he made up his mind once more and did the one thing that would free him from all his burdens. He grabbed her hand that was reaching for her things, and after taking a deep breath, recited the words that would change his life forever.

“I know this is not the most romantic way to do this, or if this is the right time. But I have to say this before I go coma.” He sighed loudly to get the energy to continue. Shannie was too surprised to do anything but stare. Russell went on, “I like you Shannie, I do. I don’t care how proper this seems. I don’t give a damn what our group mates will say or however they’d look or if they’d squeal. I don’t care if they’d throw me into some distant other group away from ours, but I know I have to have you. I don’t know how long I could hide what I feel, or what we’d have from them, but I just want you to know that I loved you since that day, that very moment you thrust that needle on my vein a year ago. You’re the only reason why I’m still pursuing nursing. God, I just love you that much Shannie.”

For someone like Russell, saying and meaning those actual words really meant a lot. And to ride the momentum and lift the sparks a notch higher, without thinking much about it, he leaned slowly and planted a kiss on her lips.
It was soft but lingering, gentle but sincere.
And when Russell thought he had showed her how he really felt, it was time to pull away. Still holding her hand, he awaited for her reaction, her reply. His heart was palpitating like crazy and he feared he would die from arrhythmia.

Shannie was looking intently at him and as their gazes locked, he noticed that her eyes were… are those tears? Was she crying?
She was about to open her mouth when a flash of light from a car that passed halted her. Russell looked and saw the tail of a silver CRV disappear into view. It was his clinical instructor’s car, probably heading for his own home too.

When he turned back to receive his fate in Shannie’s hands, he was stunned when fat tears began to slide down her face. “I can’t Russell. I’m seeing someone.”
That came as a shocker. No news reached him that Shannie was being courted by anyone, much more, that she was already taken. “What? How come? Who?”

He was devastated and she knew it. Her tears kept on coming and it hurt her that she was really hurting him, but the least she could do was to tell him the very truth.

Her head dropped down, and in almost a whisper she revealed, “Paul…”
Russell’s eyebrows crumpled and he felt like his heart was about to burst to a million pieces with anger, his hand that held Shannie shook her.

“What?! You’re dating Sir Paul?!”
The stream of tears that overflowed from Shannie’s eyes answered his question as she grabbed her things from his hand and ran inside her place, the door making a loud bang of its own as she disappeared inside.

But nothing beat the bang that fell on Russell’s face.
Oh, and remember that thing about Russell’s nursing career and the defining moment that he was really hoping and praying for? The sign he was awaiting that’d tell him what he was supposed to be really doing in his life?

Amidst all the humiliation, rage, and wrath going up and down Russell’s spine, after Shannie slammed that door shut on him, he was left there in cold, all in his lonesome. The he silently whispered “wonder if they’d accept me in Conservatory of Music this time of the year?”


(The partner's behind the story)








Finding -Marco-™ Harlequin Lover

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Bleeding October


Broken promises scattered dreams of you and I I'll never leave your side
You're so far away but I can feel you right here because you're within my heart
It's not too late we'll make up for this we'll try to fix this

I'll bring you back to the place where you belong
I'll try to take you from them

Many sleepless nights wondering if your alright I miss your sweetest smiles
I'll be waiting and when you come back I'll hold you too tight forever
It's not too late we'll make up for this we'll try to fix this

I'll bring you back to the place where you belong
I'll try to take you from them

And when the stars all disappear never bitter
I'm right here
And we'll never say goodbye
I'll save you for one last chance

Finding -Marco-™ Harlequin Lover

Monday, September 6, 2010

Damdamin

eh ano naman kung para lang akong tumaya sa wala kapag ikaw ang minahal ko?!


at least minahal padin kita, pinakita at pinaramdam ko sayo yun at hindi naman nga ako naghahanap ng kapalit eh, pero sana nakikita mo ang effort ko, kasi mahal na mahal na mahal na kita talaga.....


drama moments brought to you by
Finding Marco


Finding -Marco- Harlequin Lover

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A Song For Kulet [ Changed by You ]

Please wait while I slowly untie my tongue tonight
I pray by some feeble attempt my words would tell you what my heart has to say
'Cause you've always been right beside me for so many days

How could I be without you now?

'Cause I am changed by you
The more I get to know you
The more I want you close to me
And I'll take care of you
Please just say you'll let me
Forever be whatever you need

And so if you're supposed to get what you deserve in life
And you came just in the nick of time
God's grace has overtaken me
My love, needless to say, I am blessed by you
'Cause you are the one, you are the one that I've been waiting for
I've been waiting for

And I am changed by you
The more I get to know you
The more I want you close to me
And I'll take care of you Please just say you'll let me
Forever be whatever you need

You melt my fears away
And reach inside me with your eyes
And light a burning fire
And I cannot stop staring

And I am changed by you
The more I get to know you
The more I want you close to me
And I'll take care of you
Please just say you'll let me
Forever be whatever you need

dedicated to: Christine Joy Matic


This is her, the girl who changed me in many ways. We've known each other for many years now pero it's been a year palang since we've become this close. I just made this post for a new entry for this month and i really do miss my "Kulet" [that's our endearment] so much.

I still don't know what destiny have for the both of us, pero kung ano man ang ibigay samin, tatanggapin ko. Pero seriously, if papapiliin ako, i will choose her. Yeah, tama ang nabasa mo, sya talaga ang pipiliin ko. Kahit na ayaw nyang maniwala, totoo yung feelings ko para sa kanya.

P.S.
if ever makita mo 'to kulet. lahat ng nakalagay dito totoo at lahat ng 'to ay galing sa puso ko.

IMYSM Kulet ko. o^_^o


Finding -Marco-™ Harlequin Lover

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Jen and I

I used to be an avid fan of that teen soap Dawson’s Creek. For the record, I think I will always be the number one fan! And I, among all those who fell in love with the show (my cousin Ate Mhac included), feel a terrible sense of nostalgia upon hearing even a part of the song “I Don’t Wanna Wait” (which by the way became an anthem then). I so very well remember I started watching the show since elementary. So you can say that I almost grew up with the gang. But I think more than anything, the very reason I like this show so badly is because I fell in love with this girl whom I think more than anyone else in the show, has a unique way of working herself out to win anyone’s heart by just her mere smile and witty conversation. And no, I’m not even talking about Joey Potter here. And I’m not pertaining to “crazy” Audrey either. This girl whom I’m talking about is all beautiful, real and eternally innocent. People call her by her name Jennifer Linley. But in my case, I prefer to call her Jen, just like all her friends did.

As I said, we grew up together. I consider myself and Jen as soul-mates, more than her and Jack. We are even the closest of friends. She’s the kind of girl who values her thoughts and doesn’t let other people take it away from her. That’s the thing that I admire the most about her. Through her struggles, she always managed to get back on her feet again and again and again, and one certain thing about her is, regardless of her heart-aches with Dawson, Pacey, CJ or whoever it is, she’s never afraid to fall in love again. She’s definitely right about herself and I agree with her, that from the second she stepped out of that cab and set foot onto the creek, she was this instigator who grew and caused problems and rocked the creek and upset the delicate emotional balance of Capeside. Well, she may have caused all those troubles including the perfect romantic relationship between Dawson and Joey, but all along, she told herself that all she wanted in life is to love and be loved. And regardless of how her friends will feel towards her especially Joey, she’s never really ashamed to speak out and show her true feelings. She is brave, honest to her feelings, and she’s never really hard to fall in love with. After all, she’s got nothing to lose.

During those episodes of soul-searching and crying, (well, that’s every Tuesdays at 8:00 pm) I make it sure that I’m always at her side. She may have laughed with you, or she can be bitchy and drunk sometimes…but the true Jen is revealed when she’s come face to face with you and pour her purest thoughts. There were lonely nights when I cried with her too….and I fell in love with her the more. I recalled the nights she spent alone when she worked giving advices over the radio. Every time I hear her, she sounded smart and strong willed, but frail and unsure at the same time. You can tell that she had her ups and downs in life, in family, love, and past relationships. Because all these are reflected in the way she handles the world around her, and she always makes the most out of each experience. She wept, she cursed, she learned, she grew, and she smiled back at the world even if it’s sometimes unkind. That’s why I like her so much.

Jen is a gift and a true friend. Friendship she says “can never really be under estimated”. True, for she’s always there to keep you company whenever you’re down and she’s willing to throw you a nice drink and walk with you along the creek if you’ve got problems you’d want to discuss. I terribly miss those nights when I’m with her. But more than anything, I miss her as a friend. If only I could have my way of fixing her heart and cure her pain before she left. Or If only I could make her feel that she really belong, because she never really quite did, or so she felt.

Jen is all human. She committed a good deal of mistakes in her life and was never ashamed to correct them. She has a way of laughing at things even during the last minutes of her life. She knows how to forgive and ask forgiveness. She knows the value of friendship, family and life. And most importantly, she knows how to LOVE. I will always remember the words she said the day she went away:

“Seeing as how I won’t be around will thoroughly annoy you. So I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there’s the obvious: education, Family, Friends, and the life that is full of the unexpected. We sure to make mistakes. We make a lot of them. Because there’s no better way to learn and to grow. I want you to spend a lot of time with the ocean. Because the ocean is for you to dream, and I insist that you be a Dreamer! God, well, sometimes I’ve never really believed in God. In fact there’s been a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that God exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in God. Because the thing that I’ve come to realize is, it just doesn’t matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something. Because I promise you, that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then, there’s love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers. And when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don’t run away from it. But you don’t have to chase after it either. Just be patient and it will come to you, I promise, when you least expect it. Don’t be afraid and remember that to love means to live.”

You have no idea how I miss this girl. I wish I could bring back the good times with her, just even every Tuesdays @ 8:00. I just miss all the memories we’ve shared together back in the creek. I do hope we’ll cross each other’s paths again; although I know she’s never gonna come back again soon.


Michelle Williams who plays Jennifer Lindley in the teen series Dawson's Creek.